By Doom Ensnared
by Quinga
Summary: A reflection on a deep friendship and its cost. Assumes Silm knowledge.


Disclaimer: I don't own Túrin or Beleg, though both might have met better ends if I did ;) All characters belong to the Tolkien Estate.

A/N: Which much love to Tenshi for the beta, and the title. I can NEVER come up with a decent title…

As soon as I laid eyes on the youngling, I knew. I knew my great destiny lie with him, though he was no more than a mewling infant by our standards. I could not understand why fate would choose to tie me, the greatest of Elu's warriors, to this human, but try as I might, I could not tear my eyes away from the dark, desperate eyes that regarded me. Eyes that bore more sorrow than one that age ought to know. That day, I felt my doom ensnare me.

And so I ignored it. I remained in the marches for a short time, alone. Though what was a short time to me brought him nearly to adulthood by their reckoning. They are strange creatures, humans.

When I saw him again, he was fell and fey, having no sense of fear for his own safety, and a hatred for our enemy that was also fearless. He dispatched the servants of Morgoth with a glint in his eye that I recognized as glee. All was not well with this one, and though I knew it, I could do nothing to separate myself from him. In fact, I found that more and more, I desired his company above all others.

Some have said of me that I loved him like my own child, and some have speculated that my obsession with him was like that of a lover, who, being fearful to pronounce their love, waits quietly till it is recognized for what it is. Neither of these, or the countless other rumors is entirely correct, but neither are entirely wrong.

I cannot describe the feeling that never ceased to draw me to him, like insects to our campfires. I did feel a need to protect him, something _almost_ paternal, though I never thought of him as my child. Instead, he never failed to have the upper hand in our relationship. Whatever hare brained scheme he cooked up, whatever half thought through plan, I followed, blindly, doing whatever it would take to make him happy. Perhaps this desire in me to lead him to happiness is what brought some to the conclusion that I was in love with him. Perhaps, in a way, I was. As I say, I cannot explain feelings I myself did not understand. Certainly I felt no desire for him, only for his company, his presence.

When first he fled from our people, I knew at once I must find him. Not only for love of our King, and to bring news of his pardon, but for my own sake. Ever did his absence weigh heavy on me, and little could I concentrate on other tasks without the bearer of my doom at my side.

When at last I found him, acting as chieftain of a group of outlaws, our reunion was joyous. My joy, however, was short lived, when I found that, try as I might, I could not convince him to return home. I hoped to draw him home by denying him my companionship, and I returned to my people. But, as ever in our friendship, it was I who needed him the most, and he did not return to our forests.

At length, I begged leave of my beloved King to protect my friend in the wilds, and leave was granted.

I spent many seasons with my most loved companion by my side. We would have remained thus, an outlaw and an elf - brothers in arms - indefinitely, had it not been for the treachery of the Dwarf.

Great is the hatred of the Naugrim among many of my kin. I have never held them in disdain myself, for surely the transgressions of a few, however great, cannot speak for an entire race. But this dwarf…I held, and still hold, as much animosity for him, as my kin feel for the whole of his kind.

The foul servants of Melkor came upon us in the night, led by the Dwarf. I can yet hear the cries of my comrades as their limbs were hewn from them. Still, I see the sneering face of the Dwarf looming over me, brandishing my own sword. I would have gladly slit his throat then, had I been myself.

And once again, my companion had left my side, though this time unwillingly. Injured though I was, I could not bear the thought of him as Morgoth's thrall. So, ever onward I stumbled, trailing the Orc filth that held him. That held my destiny.

Fate tightened its grip on me the night I came upon Gwindor, trudging through the wilds. His bravery I shall never forget, as he put aside the terror of a torment well known to aid me in my cause. He swallowed his fear and led me onward. Together, we closed in on the enemy encampment, reclaiming my beloved friend.

At last! Beyond all hope, I now held he who was dearest to me in safety again! I fought to break him free of his bonds. Lightening rent the sky, the treacherous Anglachel slipped, and my comrade awoke with a start. In that instant, I realized that which I had always known....and I was unafraid.

And there in the darkness, with the rain pouring down upon me, I felt the sword pierce my body, and the circle of my doom draw closed around me.I locked eyes with him one last time, and knew that I had reached my end, and at long last found my doom with this one, as I had so long ago foreseen.


End file.
